What I learned in my three years of marriage

In one month, it will be our third wedding anniversary!

You know what they say: time flies when you’re having fun!

At the start of my blogging journey, I wrote About marriage (at that time, I didn’t know something amazing such as IBOT existed!)  It was a post focussed on before getting married.

Today’s post is about what I’ve learned in my three years of marriage.

1- Choose your fights

I often remind myself not to argue on every single little issue that comes up.

I remember, at the start of our marriage, I use to nag about everything that annoyed me.

Now, I learned to choose my fights.  Life is too short to keep arguing all the time.

Marriage is all about compromising but, there are some topics I just can’t compromise on.

So, I have learned to keep my arguments for the subjects that really matter to me.

2- Arguing is good for the couple

Even if it can sound strange, I believe arguing is an important part of the relationship.

I have a lot of difficulties to believe there are some couples who never argue.  A couple is made of two people with a different experience in life and it’s impossible to agree on everything.

I believe arguing set the record straight on certain issues the partners have and it’s necessary in a relationship as long as you are able to end up resolving the issue.

3- Communication is the key but sometimes, you just need to shut up

That’s a hard one for me because I love talking!

Sometimes, I get the feeling the discussion is not going anywhere.  In these moments, I think it’s worth to just stop the conversation and go do something else.

When I’m upset, most of the time, a few hours later, I see things differently.  In these cases, I realised it’s better to stop talking rather than saying everything passing through my mind and regret it later.

Time gives a different perspective.

I also had to learn to accept that some situations need time to get resolved.

Sometimes, all what is needed in the couple is a little bit of peace and quiet, time apart, time filled with silence.

4- Learn to forgive and forget the small things

At the start of a relation, we tend to see only the positive sides of the other person.

But, soon enough, the annoying little things come out.

Me too I have my faults.  Sometimes, it’s worth to avoid an argument and learn to let go on the small things, not keep a grudge, forgive and forget them for the wellbeing of the relationship.

(I’m obviously not talking here about important issues such as domestic violence or psychological abuses.  Please, get help if this is the case in your relationship.)

5- Have activities alone and others, together

There are couples who do everything together.

Good if it’s working for them.

For me and my husband, we need our own hobbies and time apart: time when we do things we like separately.

But, we also have activities we share together.

6- Stop the drama and just get it all out

“He should know how I feel.”  or “He should understand what I want.”

I realised my husband is not a mind reader.

It is important to share with him my worries.  Especially when my anxiety kicks in, I prefer telling him what I think and what makes me unsettle rather than believing the scenarios happening in my head.

I don’t claim to be an expert in relationships and I know every person and every couple is different.  This post is just about my personal experience.  I believe each couple should do what is right for them and not listen to what people say.

No relationship can stand without support, respect and honesty.

So, I’d like to know how long have you been married or for how long have you been living with your partner? 

What is the most important thing you learned about your marriage or your relationship? 

Linking this post with Jess over at Essentially Jess for I Blog on Tuesdays.

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Tagged as: Marriage